I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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