the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
