found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
