i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize