your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
