dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
