smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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