9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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