Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
