I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
