I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
