you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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