I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
