I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
