This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
