I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
