I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
