arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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