Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
