If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
