you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
