i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
