There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
