I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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