my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
