I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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