girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
