yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
