Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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