Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
