Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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