Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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