I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
worst night to have a conscience
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
