Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
