The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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