So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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