It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
