I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
