DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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