You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
