My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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