My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
