I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
