We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
