Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
