I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
