Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had to cum in my sink.
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