the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
