He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Houston, we have a blender
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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