We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
