but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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