She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
