obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
