No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
