have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
